Snoring is no laughing matter.  Well, most of the time.   The thing is, we’ve been having such serious conversations here, isn’t  it time to lighten things up a bit?  Sure it is.  And if you can’t laugh at yourself, who will laugh at you?

Wait a minute.  That’s not how it goes.  Well, I guess what I mean to say is, let’s take a funny look at ourselves:

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Bob was having trouble getting to sleep at night.   He went to see his doctor, who prescribed some extra strong sleeping pills.   Sunday night Bob took the pills,  slept well,  and was awake before he heard the alarm

 

He took his time getting dressed, eating breakfast and driving to the office.  He had never felt so refreshed and alive.

 

When he strolled into the office his boss was waiting for him.

 

“My snoring didn’t keep me awake last night,”  he told his boss.  ”I slept great and didn’t have any trouble getting up this morning.”

 

“That’s great,” roared his boss.  “But where were you on Monday and Tuesday?”

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Four retired deputy sheriffs, Daryl, Earl, Cecil and Bubba, went to a retreat in the mountains. To save money, they decided to sleep two to a room.

No one wanted to room with Daryl because he snored so badly. They all decided it wasn’t fair if just one of them had to room with him the whole time, so they compromised and voted to take turns. A different deputy would bunk with Daryl each of the three nights they were scheduled at the retreat.

The first deputy assigned to sleep with Daryl was Earl. Earl came to breakfast the next morning with with his hair a mess and his eyes all bloodshot. Earl looked like he had been in a war.

The other deputies said, “Earl — you look terrible! what happened?”

Earl replied, “Daryl snored like a freight train. I’m telling you, I would never have believed anyone could be that loud if I hadn’t heard it myself. There was absolutely no way I could sleep. I just sat up in bed and watched him all night.”

The next night it was Cecil’s turn. In the morning it was the same thing —- Cecil looked a fright. His hair standing up and his eyes all blood-shot. He was not only bleary eyed, he was barely cognizant of his surroundings.

They knew Cecil had gone sleepless, but had to ask anyway: “Cecil! Was it that bad? You look awful!”

Cecil said, “You’d look awful, too, if you had to try to sleep in the same room as 747! Daryl shakes the roof! I had no idea anyone could snore so loudly! There was absolutely no way I could sleep with that racket!  It got so bad it frightened me! I just sat and played solitare all night and listened to him snore.”

The third night it was Bubba’s turn. Bubba was a big burly ex-football player — a real man’s man. The next morning Bubba came to breakfast bright eyed and bushy-tailed.

“Morning, fellahs” he said. “Looks like a beautiful day.”

The other two deputies just sat there dumbfounded.

A few minutes later Daryl came down to breakfast. He was bleary eyed, his hair was a mess and he looked a fright.

Earl and Cecil puzzled over this and finally had to ask: “Daryl, didn’t you get any sleep last night?”

“Hell, no!” Daryl shot back. Just as I climbed into bed, Bubba came over and tucked me in and gave me a big good night kiss right on the lips. Man, I just sat there wide awake all night and watched HIM sleep like a baby!”